The End of Preschool

The end of the month brought the end of the preschool years for Evan. It was not without celebration, fun and a few (ok, many!) tears from me. I was unsure of why I am so terribly emotional about this particular milestone, but I have had a few days to dry the tears and wrap my brain around it and have come up with some answers to my own question.

Two years ago, Evan was barely speaking anything that was understandable to anyone outside of the family. He was almost 3 and we were nearing the end of home speech therapy and moving on to an outside facility. Fast forward to today. He is talking non-stop. He tells stories, asks questions, laughs and plays with his friends, asks to pet every dog that comes down the street, and loves to answer the telephone. Just in the last 2 weeks, he has almost mastered the "L" sound in most words! The neighbor commented the other day that she had a whole conversation with him and it wasn't until she went in the house that she realized this whole conversation took place without her having to consciously decipher what he was saying. She was so happy for him! While all of this progress is fantastic and makes me so proud, I do know that he still has a long way to go. Some of the sentences he puts together are awkward and the word choice is not always correct, he needs help following multi-step directions and needs more time to process verbal directions. I worry that as he moves on to kindergarten, that others will not be as patient as his Saint of a preschool teacher has been. Will kids make fun of him? Will the bus driver be able to understand him on a noisy bus if he has a problem?

He will be away from me every day. As crazy as he can make me at times, I love all the time we have had together. He was really only away from me 7.5 hours each week. (3 days, 2.5 hrs per day) Now he will be going for the same length of time, but he will be gone every weekday. Call me selfish, but letting him go to spend time with someone else is really hard. I also realize that when he goes to school all day, he will be spending more of his waking hours away from me than with me. How scary! I feel like so much of our day is spent with little teachable moments for things that aren't directly taught in school. Things like manners, how to fold shirts, sharing, why we need to wash our hands, how to button pants, using table manners, why Jesus (and your parent's for that matter!) don't want you to hit your sister, time management (aka: how to get out of the house in a timely manner) and many more. There is so much for little people to learn! How am I going to squeeze all this in when I have less and less time with him? I also worry about the morals and values that he will be exposed to. Next year, he is going to a church affiliated school, so I am not too worried about that yet, but know it is coming. I don't want his innocent mind corrupted with junk. Here in our little bubble, it is a nice life!

I guess what I am really getting at here is that I am having to let go. I think that is the toughest thing about being a parent. As they grow, I will have to keep "letting go" more and more. Some day I will long for them to be clinging to my leg, hanging on for all they are worth. I have to remember...roots and wings, roots and wings. This person says it all much better than I do...

http://www.emptynestmoms.com/pages/story17.html